On December 14, 2019, I made a list of 40 things I needed from my marriage.
They were clear, specific, and deeply felt. I believed those things were missing, and I believed my husband was supposed to provide them.
By the next year, I was miserable. I felt disappointed, resentful, and stuck.
Divorce was on the table.
One of the hardest expectations on that list was this:
Make me better.
I wanted my husband to make me better in my health, my wealth, and my character. And when he could not, I believed the relationship had failed.
Then I heard something I did not want to hear.
Expectations lead to disappointment, then conflict.
That sentence changed everything.
I started to see that I had built a list of ways for my husband to fail and for me to feel let down. I was not building a partnership. I was building a test no one could pass.
The real shift was not learning to want less.
It was learning to ask a better question.
Instead of,
What should I be getting from this relationship?
I started asking,
What is the purpose of this relationship in my life?
My answer was simple:
The purpose of a relationship is growth.
A relationship can show you who you are, where you are hurting, and what needs to change. It can act like a mirror. And once I stopped asking my husband to fix me, I started seeing what I needed to work on in myself.
That changed my marriage.
It also changed my life.
The five areas that shaped Realth
As I started growing, I noticed the same five areas kept showing up.
First, I had to see myself clearly. My patterns. My blind spots. My habits.
Then I had to understand my emotions. What I was feeling. Why I was feeling it. What those feelings were trying to tell me.
From there, my relationships started to change. I could speak more honestly, ask more clearly, and set better boundaries.
That led me to my values. Was I really living what I said mattered most?
And when those pieces started to line up, I felt more ready to engage, contribute, and give myself to something bigger than myself.
Those five areas became the foundation of Realth:
Self. Emotions. Relationships. Values. Engagement.
I did not invent them in theory first. I lived them first. Then I built around them.
Why I built Realth
I could track my health.
I could track my wealth.
But I had no way to track the part of life that was shaping everything else.
My emotional patterns.
My relationships.
My ways of connecting and disconnecting.
That part of life had no score. No dashboard. No clear way to see what was working and what was not.
So I built one.
Realth is how well your emotions and relationships are working.
The Realth Assessment helps you see how things are going across five key areas of life. It gives you a clear picture of where you are strong, where there is friction, and what to focus on first.
It is not a diagnosis.
It is not a personality label.
It is a clearer way to see what is shaping your life right now.
What Realth measures
Realth looks at five key areas:
Self
Do you see your own patterns clearly?
Emotions
Can you understand and respond to your feelings well?
Relationships
Are you connecting honestly and healthily with others?
Values
Do your choices match what matters most to you?
Engagement
Are you giving yourself to something meaningful?
Your score helps you see what is strong, what feels strained, and where one change could make the biggest difference.
Hi, I'm Deb.
I am a certified strategic intervention coach trained in the Robbins-Madanes method, with a degree in Management.
I have spent years studying how people connect, why they disconnect, and what helps them close the gap between what they want and how they are actually living.
But Realth is also personal.
I have been the person making a list of everything my partner should be doing for me. I have been the person who looked fine on the outside and felt lost on the inside. I have been the person repeating patterns I said I would never repeat.
Realth came from lived experience, deep reflection, and the work of turning pain into something useful.
I built it for people who want a clearer, more honest way to understand their emotions, relationships, and patterns.
If that is you, you are in the right place.